When you realize yourself as a Parent.

Different parents discuss “When they realized themselves as parents.”

“When I realized myself as a parent was when my girlfriend then, wife now, got pregnant. I was a bit confused and agitated. I was practically not ready. After considering the options, I settled for parenthood and that probably was the best decision I have ever taken.

  How I felt? I was prepared to be a father but I wasn't ready for its reality. But I had a personal decision that I had vowed to uphold and that is, I will be a good father and a good husband. I don't know if I had been that good sha o. But seeing my son come out of his mom's womb was the most surreal thing I have ever experienced.

  The things I started doing. From my very first child I became conscious of a life that came through me and I felt I played no part in that other than sleeping with my wife. I stayed with my wife throughout her labour till she had my son, I was given the privilege to witness his birth. It was so exciting and overwhelming. So, I felt great. I was always worried about what was happening to my son and I got really attached to him. 

I am trying to wean myself off that attachment now sha. 

 I wouldn't say being a parent made me more responsible. No. It only gave that virtue of responsibility a total expression in me. I don't smoke, I don't drink beer, I love women but I don't womanize🤣😂😂

 So, Yes being a father made me feel really good about life, myself and confident too that I have a child I could call my own.”

~Anonymous

“When I first became a mother, I was quite excited and elated. The pain I endured while in labor disappeared as soon as I beheld my bundle of joy.   However, motherhood came with its own challenges, which includes a drastic change in my daily routine. I no longer had my own personal time in the first few years of motherhood.

 My baby comes first so I didn’t get to sleep as often as I would love to. Coupled with the fact that I was a working class mum, I had to joggle office work with nursing my baby. All these are by no means a walk in the park. But it was worth it at the end of the day.

Things I started doing include;

* I became a better time manager. I hardly have leisure time.

*Keeping the home safe and hygienic for the baby.

* Preparing babies meal when he stopped exclusive breast feeding.

Taking care of the home front generally and the father.

What I stopped doing.

* I stopped unplanned and unscheduled journey or visitations.

* I hardly have a ‘me’ time in the first few years of their birth.

* I don't really like cooking, I enjoy doing house chores than cooking. But motherhood changed all that. I just have to cook for my family.”

~Mrs Padonu, Lagos.

“Parenthood struck me from the moment I had my first child, it is an awareness that builds from conception and realization sets in once the child is birthed.

No one actually teaches a mother the steps or prepares you, motherhood and it's responsibilities comes naturally, a mother just gets the hang of it, we learn through the process.

  How I felt? I felt responsible for another human and I was so prepared to embrace all that comes with parenting a full human.

  The things I started doing? I started adjusting to the new normal, thinking of new goals that can align with me being present in the foundation stage of a child's upbringing. I started unlearning and  relearning, planning my schedules alongside that of my little human.

  The things I stopped doing? I wouldn't say I stopped doing anything rather I had even more activities than usual to do. My responsibilities quadrupled in essence as family duties are concerned. I could add that I paused career ambition for a while, having it in mind that I'll be a family woman for a time frame, all things being equal, then continue with my goals in the near future. 

This I can say I put a halt to.”

~Mrs Oshiobor, Lagos.

“What I changed? Nothing. I have no habit or behavior that requires changing.  The only difference is the additional responsibility of nurturing children. 

This has to do with meeting their physical needs, mental needs and giving them a godly and good moral foundation. 

What I only see as a challenge is how not to transfer what I see as error in my own up bringing to my children, not over doing and under doing some responsibilities just because of my own background. 

What also looks like it is efforts to ensure that my children are not corrupted by the corruption of the society with unfortunate is the schools and sadly church.”

~Pastor Sonoiki, Lagos.

   One important thing to note in these wonderful parents’ experiences is that Parenthood brought out the best in them. They learned to sacrifice, become better time managers. They learned to have their children’s interest in mind and started thinking better and ahead for their children and family and all in all, they learned to become better people. 

  Parenthood is one of the most beautiful phase in one’s life. It’s a phase where you learn that your heart is way capable to love someone else other than yourself. It is a phase of selflessness, patience and understanding.It is also a phase that once started, you could never back out. Because I assure you, you’re going to be a parent for the rest of your life. So in as much as Parenting is also a beautiful thing, having beautiful children, taking beautiful photos, and being happy, because you’re meeting society expectations of you. You should be very sure before making this particular decision. There are so many ups to parenting, it is important to note that it comes with a lot of challenges, one that requires mental, emotional and physical strength.

         I hope you’ve been able to learn great lessons from this experiences. Really looking forward to your replies. You can drop your comments in the comment section box 👇 Feel free to also drop questions or additional informations you have on parenting, I’ll love to hear your perspectives. 

With Love,

Oluwatimileyin Adepitan