DECIDING ON A PARENTING STYLE

   You know how you get a new fridge or a blender  and it comes with a manual on how to operate it. Well,  I am pretty sure life would be made much more easier for parents,  if only children also came with manuals. But oops! That's not the case. 

    Parenting styles are the different ways in which different parent(s) choose to nurture and train their children. Deciding on a parenting style is one of the most important decisions that parent(s) can make, as it influences so much, both in the lives of the parent(s), child and their future. There are four major parenting styles, which include: Authoritarian, Permissive, Authoritative and Neglective.

To begin with; Authoritarian Parenting. This is a type of parenting style in which the parents are highly demanding. They make rules and give expectations without the slightest bit of explanation, as long as they said so, then it should be done. These kind of parents usually have no bond or personal relationship with the child as they are not really affectionate. 

  This kind of parenting style is common in some culture. For example, in the Yoruba and Igbo culture, there's a saying that 'Elders are always right'. Hence, this gives no room for a child's opinion or question. As long as it is coming from the lips of an elder, it's the truth. Therefore, it shouldn't be questioned. 

   Children, who are products of Authoritarian parents, in most cases, tend to display low self esteem due to their inexperience in making decisions. They are emotionally withdrawn and are usually with poor mental health. They also display rebellion tendencies towards authority figure due to rules and expectations fatigue.

Secondly; Permissive Parenting. This a parenting style in which the parent(s) is lenient with the child. This kind of parent usually struggle to set rules and expectations for the child, even when they do, they end up bending to the child's will. Most times, they let the child get their way.

  Permissive parents are usually very affectionate and emotional. Hence, the difficulty in being strict and upright with their children. They put their child's happiness and emotional needs before anything else and so they are usually very indulgent with their children. They also put very little emphasis on discipline.

  Children of permissive parents are usually very open with their parents and usually have a strong bond with their parents. But they they tend to display traits of self-centered behaviours and emotions and behavioral problems overtime. They grow accustomed into making wrong decisions and they hardly take to corrections. They also tend to become impulsive and rebellious due to lack of rules and expectations.

Thirdly; Authoritative Parenting. According to research, it has been identified that authoritative parenting style is the best. This is a parenting style in which the parents provides a warm and friendly environment for the child, while simultaneously setting rules and expectations. They encourage open discussions with their children and are always ready to listen to their children's views and opinions. When they give rules, they also give explanations for those rules and do not expect their children to just follow rules blindly.

  They also put their children's viewpoints into considerations when making rules. They set healthy boundaries and usually encourage their children.

Children from Authoritative parents are more self reliant and socially responsible. They have better mental health compared to children produced from other parenting styles. They also have higher self esteem and higher achievements academically.

Lastly, Neglective Parenting. These are parents who believe in just providing the basic needs for the child, but are not always available. They do not set rules or expectations, they are hardly available to have a discussion with their children, and so, they are hardly involved in their children's lives.

They will rather go for parties than attend their children's PTA, and they will rather attend that business meeting than be present on their children's graduation. They are uninterested about their children's lives and therefore often leave the children to go through life on their own, apart from providing the basic needs.

  Children produced from this parenting style are likely to have poor mental health, low self-esteem, no self confidence and tend to seek validation from others. The few who do not turn out to have these characteristics, tends to become a nuisance in the society as they were given no proper upbringing whatsoever.

Neglective Parenting is arguably the worst parenting style.

In conclusion, while so many parents can be found in the different categories that has been mentioned above, the best parenting style is the Authoritative Parenting. As it has been proved to produce the most successful and responsible children who grows into adults.